happy 18th birthday to me

The clock struck 12 about an hour and a half ago. The day I never thought would come, the day that always seemed so far away, that day is finally here. So please will someone tell me why I can’t stop all these tears from running down my face.

I don’t know how I got here and I don’t know how this happened. Just the other day I started middle school and then a couple days after that I started high school, and now I’ve been in college for almost a month. It all sounds so exciting but the whole thought of the unknown is so frightening to me. Why am I here? How do I learn who I really am? How am I supposed to figure it out when everyone keeps being so loud. I can’t even hear my own thoughts sometimes..maybe that’s why I stay up to late at night when it’s almost morning and the only sound I can hear is the resonating ticking of the clock.

Tick.. Tock… Tick…

I am excited for the future.. and for rolling around in my new human sized hamster ball.

Yes, I am actually 18 now.

I have no idea what I’m doing, but on a separate note, it’s August?

It is one in the morning, and as I am laying here writing this, I find it reassuring that no one will see it…I hope. Maybe that defeats the whole purpose of a blog.. but at least for a while, and then when I’m ready, I will share it on social media for all my family and the friends I’ve made over the past few years to see.

I’m still trying to figure out how to do this.. so I will write, and if I enjoy it, I will keep writing, and then I will call it “blogging.”

Well, I  closed my eyes and opened my eyes, and yet, another summer has almost come to an end. Except unlike previous summers, this one was filled with all sorts of life changing events like going across the ocean and falling in love with a European, riding on the back of a dolphin in Mexico and zip-lining from tree top to tree top across the scenic state of Colorado.

No really…it all happened.

But probably the most significant life-changing event that occurred in the last three month was I graduated high school-yes, four years of drama, stress, and trying to find myself in the confined underground walls of the former bomb shelter they call a school are finally over. Next step, I pack my things, put them in the back of my new red and shiny Mini Cooper, and take them with me about 200 miles northwest from here to where I will spend what many people refer to as “the best time in life”

-college.

“Excited” is an understatement.